Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
