Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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