I can tuck mytits in my pants
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
