why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
