What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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