First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Banned from zoo.
Again?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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