He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
