I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
smell my finger.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
