so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize