So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
