I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
