So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
