I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
