All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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