yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize