After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
