Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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