i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
