I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize