he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
