did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
