google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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