Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
