I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
