Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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