I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm both gender and math confused
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
