dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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