is wine microwaveable?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
