Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He better not be in your backpack
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
