We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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