Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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