Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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