People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
