We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
