Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
