Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
