How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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