weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
