I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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