I hate your face
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
