tell your sister to shave her snatch
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
