unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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