I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
