He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
