He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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