i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
