Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
