Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
