you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
