i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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