dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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