are you still at the devil's house?
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
being pregnant is like rehab
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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