I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
