i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize