he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
