Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
